When we get back from Paris, my life will be very, very different.
I will be married.
I will not be nannying, the job I've had for the past four years.
I will not have sessions for a bit.
I will be preparing to move to Pittsburgh, farther from family and friends.
Not only will my life be quite different, I'll also have the time to think about it. I don't usually have the time to process things like this. Now, in perhaps the most transitional phase of my life thus far, I'll have all the time in the world to feel it.
I shared this realization with a friend, and she succinctly said, "Isn't it such a blessing and a curse to be so self-aware?"
That's exactly how I feel. On one hand, were I not so self aware, I'd just keep on going with life, taking it step by step as the changes roll out. Then again, the crushing realization of how different life is could hit me at any moment.
As a self aware person with a touch of anxiety, though, I'm keenly aware of the possibility of falling into a deep, deep hole of depression when we get back from our honeymoon.
So here I am, four months pre-potential breakdown, brainstorming ways to either ward it off or let it happen and move on.
I might allow it to wash over me with a day of candles, sad music, writing and ice cream.
I might plan friend dates for every day of the week we return.
I might sleep for two days because it's the first time I'll be experiencing jet lag. And jet lag + depression = temporary coma.
I might think of a project to dive into.
I might jump headlong into the Pittsburgh move.
I might take a week to do all the things I've said I've wanted to creatively for years.
How would you handle this kind of change? What would you do with this time of transition?