If you're not familiar with my weekly "Frisky Fridays" feature (GO GET FAMILIAR, BB! @asyouareboudoir!), basically every week, I answer a sex question sent to me by a follower that I then take to my panel of "Sexperts" to help me answer. These questions range in sauciness from "How do we keep things interesting," to "I hate oral. Help!"
This feature prompted a comment within the family calling me "sex-obsessed."
As a whole, my family has been surprisingly supportive of my chosen photography genre. They're impressed by the images and proud of the work I've done to build the business.
But apparently, this Frisky Friday stuff crosses a line.
I was informed by my mother that a family member expressed disapproval of the weekly feature. Allow me to preface this by saying
1. My family is comprised of amazing humans, and I love all of them very, very much.
2. that anyone can feel how they want to feel. I am not under the delusion that all of my ideas, opinions and content will be loved by all people everywhere.
But this struck a chord.
Because this perspective is EXACTLY WHY SO MANY OF US ARE FUCKED UP SEXUALLY.
We (especially women) are met with SO MUCH emotional opposition to a healthy sex life. Don't even get me started on how far back in history this goes. We're not allowed to surrender to pleasure. We're not allowed to aggressively SEEK pleasure. We're not allowed to talk about sex. We're not allowed to FEEL. We're not allowed to dress a certain way. We're not allowed to ask questions.
All of this has resulted in a repressed, sex-negative culture that shames us for desiring sexual intimacy.
Which happens to be something that we are ACTUALLY DESIGNED FOR.
My emphasis on and advocacy of a healthy sex life is not just about pleasure, though.
It's about the tools you learn and the power you collect on the way to a thriving intimate life.
We are so disconnected. From each other, from the life things that matter, and especially from ourselves. And when you set out on the quest for great sex, you learn ways to reconnect with yourself. You learn ways to love yourself and your body.
When you're connected mentally and emotionally, you're able to invite your body to a higher level of existence and experience.
We are capable of SO MUCH MORE than we're experiencing now. There is SO MUCH LIFE we're missing out on because we've been told not to seek pleasure.
The best part? You can take these lessons outside the bedroom. Breathing techniques, mental and emotional exercises, mindfulness, connectedness. All of this yummy stuff can be put to use at work, within your family and friendships, through particularly stressful times, to maximize your enjoyment of other things!
I also cannot ignore that every session, I watch my clients deeply connect to their sensuality and then walk out of my studio with their heads held higher, smiling wider, FEELING as beautiful as they are. When you're in touch with your body sexually, you're more confident, you show more self love, you invest in self care. There's science behind that, sugar babies, not just my observations.
I started a business with the sole intent of making women feel beautiful. A healthy intimate life facilitates that.
So yeah, I'm pretty interested in what sex can do for our bodies, minds, relationships and souls. Can you blame me?
I just want to start conversations. I want to be a person who doesn't shy away from important things because it's uncomfortable. I want to facilitate communication between partners. I want to give people hope. I want to help turn pages and start new chapters. I want to build bridges and create connections.
I don't know if you were in the camp of people wondering what all this sex talk is about, but I hope this helps shed some light on why it's so important to me. And if any of the sexy sex content has helped you and/or your partner, don't be shy! Let me know! As always, if you have a question that my sexperts and I might be able to help you with, email me!