Dear As You Are Friends & Followers,
I owe you an apology.
The entire time I’ve been championing body positivity and self love and acceptance, it never once occurred to me that you might not be ready to be positive about your body yet, and I’m sorry.
It isn’t my place to rush you or convince you that you’re perfect as you are. Because I don’t get to decide that. It isn’t my job to define beauty or perfection for you. Only you can do that.
I listened to a podcast yesterday that flipped my world around a little bit. It was an episode of Dear Sugars (highly recommend it) called Trust Your Body, and it completely rearranged the body positive dictionary in my brain.
First of all, I truly do believe that all bodies are beautiful, including my own. And that’s where I get blinded. It’s easy for me to love bodies and think they’re beautiful, because it’s the only emotion I’ve ever felt towards a body as an adult. I started loving my body early in my life, and when I started discovering & experiencing other bodies, that love only grew. Which is a gift, and I want you to know that I never ever take it for granted.
But my body love isn’t really fair to you. Because you might not be there yet. Or maybe you were once in a place of self love, but got away from it.
While listening to this podcast, I remembered that we have been force fed a definition of beauty that is not only unfair to women (and men, but sit down boys, I’m talking to the girls right now), but it’s just totally fucking false.
From the time we are CHILDREN, society/media/adults in our lives start teaching us that beauty is this one thing, and they sell it and sell it until we believe it, and we don’t even realize we’ve bought into it. They teach us that a woman’s body needs controlling to fit into the mold that was invented without our consent. And we believe it, because what other message do we have? I’m guilty of it, too. I’m buying into it when I over Photoshop a client. I’m buying into it when I don’t wear a top I love because it makes me look “bigger.”
It’s this archaic, patriarchal definition that unfairly distorts my message when I say things like, “you are beautiful, as you are,” I need to remember that it gets filtered through what beautiful means to you.
There is nothing wrong with the pursuit of beauty. I’ve built an entire business around it. But I’d love for you to ask yourself, whose definition of beauty are you pursuing?
I love it when my clients tell me that they felt beautiful during their session and in their photos, but I love it even more when they tell me that they felt sexy, powerful, and strong in them.
You are a wonderful being full of magic and passion, interesting thoughts and ideas, who has lived and will endure incredible experiences. THIS is what makes your photos beautiful. Not your body. Not the makeup. Not even the lighting or lingerie. It’s your human experience and existence that makes your pictures beautiful.
It is important to me to tell you all of this, because I am adjusting the way I move through my process. From my language on social media, to the way I photograph my clients, I will work harder to dig a bit deeper and help you really SEE yourself. Not help you see yourself as beautiful necessarily, but just truly SEE yourself. If even for the couple of hours you are with me, I want us both to be so fully connected to who you are that you can’t HELP but love your photos, because while we made them, you were purely YOU.
You ARE beautiful as you are, and I will never stop believing that or trying to show you that.
But it is more important to me that we honor who you are, and that you walk away from your session feeling important and necessary in this world, even as you change and grow in it.
I'm sorry that I hadn't considered your journey before, but I promise to respect and honor it from here on out.
Love the shit out of you,